It is a erroneous to say that you've given away your heart in a relation. A relationship is not an organ transplant, it's more like blood donation. You only give a fraction of what you have, and though you don't give again for another 3months, you're very likely to land up at another camp after that.
An ugly break-up is like chronic constipation. A real pain in the ass, and full of crap.
An amicable break-up on the other hand, would be an Elective surgery. Well planned and minimum soft tissue damage.
Being hung-up over your ex is like a cadaveric spasm. You're still in the same state that you were in at the time of death [of the relation.]
A rebound is like a nosocomial super-infection. Just when you thought you were getting better, you're down again. And this time, with a more resistant strain.
Falling in love is like cigarette smoking. You know you are getting into a potential health hazzard, but you're so hooked, you just refuse to believe the warning on the pack.
Meeting your potential in-laws for the first time is like Phase 4 of a Clinical trial. You want to do a market survery to gather all the rare adverse effects, but they usually come in rather late.
Marriage is like a terminal illness. And it follows the classic order of grief -
Denial [in the bedroom], Anger, Barking, Desperation, Apathy.
Putting up with an abusive spouse is like drug tolerance. The more you take it the first time, the more you are compelled to take it at all subsequent times.
An understanding spouse is like the 'Human Cloning Project'. It goes against nature's laws.
A confrontation with your spouse is like a diabetic gorging on sugar - not advisable.
Losing your temper over your spouse is like Contact Dermatitis. An irritant factor is always present.
An extra-marital affair is like a toxic fart in public. It's natural, but absolutely unacceptable. So everybody does it, but nobody owns up.
An extra-marital affair with your wife's best friend is like taking TCAs and MAO Inhibitors simultaneously. You're bound to end up with a H.T. Crisis, and you'll be the only one to blame.
A one night stand with a prostitute is like seeking a second opinion just for the heck of it. You'll go right back to your original physician, and you won't dare mention the second one.
[Speaking of sluts, why are the females called prostitutes, when it's actually the males who have a prostate?]
Murdering your spouse is like euthanesia. It may be "mercy"-killing, but it's illegal just the same.
A divorce is like radical surgery for a malignancy. Recovery entails major life-style changes. But life expectany shoots up drastically.
And finally, the only other thing in medicine, that matches the irony of a marriage, is death by drowning. When you want to float, you drown. And after you've drowned, you infact do float.
